Wanna see me get run over on the Ellen show?

That's right. Be sure to record Ellen Degeneres on Monday 12/11 cuz you'll see me on the show getting hit with a rascal scooter.
So we went to a taping of the Ellen Degeneres show this past Monday, a most grueling experience. They told us that tickets would be given out at 11am, but we could get there early if we wanted. We figured we'd get there really early to be sure to get tickets and get into the studio audience, so we arrived around 7:30am. Apparently that wasn't good enough, as there were already about 150 people in line. Stupid housewives with nothing better to do! Long story short, we waited 3.5 hours , got sent away for 3 hours, came back and waited another 2.5 hours, only to get a ticket for the shitty riff raff room, that backstage loser reject holding area where they put the overflow crowd. I felt like the redheaded autistic one legged stuttering stepchild. We got screwed out of getting into the main audience by 4 people! The reason I was bitter about this is not only because as you sit in the riff raff reject room, you can hear all the fun going on right on the other side of the wall, but also because it was day 8 of Ellen's 12 Days of Giveaways. Only thing is that you only get all the gifts if you're in the main audience room. The riff raff room gets nothing, and at best they get ONE of the gifts if Ellen feels generous. Luckily we got one of the gifts. And even luckier it was make-up! I was so excited I cant even tell you. Ebay here I come.
On a brighter note, the last segment of the show had Ellen racing her guest on those Rascal Scooters that old and fat people drive (side note...I want one). They raced through the riff raff room, where the guest lost control of her Rascal and went the wrong way. Upon backing up, she ran into me where I sat. So look for the guy putting his arms out to prevent a Rascal from hitting him in the legs.
So a word to the wise...if you're ever in town to see Ellen, get there at 6am and suck up the 5 hours you're going to wait to get into the audience.















THE REAL DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES