Thursday, March 31, 2005

Frisbee Golf or Disc Golf? Depends on how much of a life you have. But one thing is for sure. SHOUT!

Let me just start by telling you that everything you read below I had to recreate and retype, cuz shortly after I typed it all out originally, the Blog had some kind of error and erased this entire entry. So here goes again. If it's not entertaining or worth your time, then fuck off, cuz I just spent an hour writing this all over again. It's probably nowhere near the same as the first time I wrote it, but you'll get the point. Now that's dedication to a blog, bitch!
So we decided last weekend that we would go out and about because the weather's been getting better and better. And by better, I mean that it's now 75 instead of 69. And sunny instead of partly sunny. So that's always nice. Anyway, we went to play Frisbee Golf, or "Disc Golf" as it's called by the pro's. Yes, in fact Disc Golf has professionals, their own association, tournaments, and championships. This goes to show you that if you put enough time and effort into just about any skill, you can become the very best at it and even compete prefessionaly, regardless of how little other people take you seriously. We played at Balboa Park's disc golf course, about 10 minutes from my place. The course is actually not very easy at all, and they hold national tournaments here every year.
Here's the US Disc Golf Association Championship's website. Regional qualifiers are underway, so get goin! http://www.usdgc.com/
The upside is that the "greens fee" for disc golf is a whopping $2.50, so save your quarters! You can actually save a bit more by going on the weekdays, when the fee is $2 flat. Hooray for us finding something to do that doesn't cost more than $5. (Actually, on a side note, the previous night we went to see a Hypnotist show, which was $10 at the door, but Emily was so excited when she managed to score 4 "limited edition" promotional tickets from her work for free entry to the show. The bubble was kind of burst though when, as we ordered pizza at a pizza shop down the street, we saw a stack of approximately 30 of the same tickets that we had, sitting on the counter, free for the taking. "Take all you want, we have tons" was the reply from the pizza shop owner. ((And on a side side note, it wasn't until after I started eating that Emily pointed out the "B" prominently displayed in the shop window. SHIT...if you dont know what that means, then just know that my cleanliness issues took over my ability to enjoy the pizza)). Anway, I took 6 more tickets for shits and giggles. I honestly felt bad for the suckers who we actually watched pay full price at the box office to the theater. I could have ran over and given them some tickets, but I was lazy, but mostly just an ass).
So back to disc golf...I was just excited that we're finally not gonna spend a lot of money on a Saturday to do something fun!

After we finished our round, tallied the scores and found out I won (Boo Ya), we headed home to get ready to go out to "Shout", the dueling piano bar down in the Gaslamp District. This was an amazingly fun place, and a must for anyone in San Diego. It is very similar to the piano bar at New York New York casino in Vegas if you're familiar with that, in the sense that there are two pianos up on a small stage in a restaurant that holds about 150 people. The concept is you eat, drink, request songs, sing along at the top of your lungs, then drink some more. The piano players are very funny, very entertaining, and really really fucking good at playing requests. They know almost everything, including "Hey Ya" by Outkast as I found out that night. Surprisingly it was a really good version. And let me be clear here...our table of 5 people was easliy twice as loud and involved in this show than any other table in the place. Our side's piano player loved us, and we sang to just about everything they played. Of particular fun was Elton John's "Crocodile Rock", which allowed us to use our best and loudest "Fa la la la la's" during the chorus...especially Jeff, whose screaming rendition will forever live on the video I took with my digital camera. Too bad this blog doesn't support video files. Oh well, if you really want to see them I can send them through AIM. Just ask. I also have a very clever rendition of Steve Miller's "The Joker", and "The Green Grass Grows All Around", complete with all audience participation hand movements.
So overall the night was awesome, but the down side to singing all night long while sitting and continuously ordering pitchers of beer, is that you don't take money, or your lack of it, into consideration once your glass is empty. Another pitcher? SURE! Why not. Long story short, is $240 worth of beer pitchers a lot for one evening of sing alongs? Fuck, didn't I mention something earlier about finally not spending a lot of money on a Saturday? Eh, I didn't need to pay my car insurance this month anyway. Gotta have your prioritities, ya know. But come on, how often do you get an acoustic piano version of "I Wanna Rock and Roll All night"?

A very random "shoe" tree at the start of the frisbee golf course. Disc golf, excuse me. These people take their sport very seriously. It was entertaining to see some of the people who actually were hauling around tote bags full of their professional disc golf equipment from hole to hole.  Posted by Hello

Now if that doesn't look like a professional throwing, I don't know what does.....other than the fact that Lauren kind of ruins the expectation of a good throw by standing conspicuously 20 yards right down Emily's line of site. Hmmm, methinks it shall not go straight.  Posted by Hello

Jeff, puttin som whoopass on that disc! Posted by Hello

Lauren, bracing herself for a masterful Tee shot. Frankly, I have no idea if it's called a tee shot or not. But that's what I'm calling it.  Posted by Hello

See that disc? Looks like a paper plate. In fact, it's an official regulation USDGA (US Disc Golf Association) 150 gram weight disc. No i didn't buy one. Although don't put it past me after how well I played. They rent them to you for $1. Believe it or not, this hole actually requires you to get the frisbee over all of those trees and bushes, and basically thread the needle up that little path you see in the distance....or play it short and try to get it over on shot #2. Guess who got it there in one? Daaaas right. My accuracy in frisbee golf was only surpassed by my drunkeness later that evening. You'll see.  Posted by Hello

Quiet!! Nobody move. Tiger Stimson up at the tee.  Posted by Hello

Damn kid, look at that form! And look at all that open space...perfect opportunity for a perfect throw. Too bad the frisbee went 40 feet to the left into a tree.  Posted by Hello

Here we are at Shout, where audience participation is not only encouraged, it's basically required. Up to the stage here went all the birthday girls, who had to play along with the song "Head, Shoulders Knees and Toes" and touch the appropriate parts...except the piano guys quickly changed it to "Head, Shoulders Boobs and Buns". The ladies got to choose any guy to come up on stage with her. The one in the middle chose the old guy in the hawaiian shirt. When the guys got up, the song changed again to "Head, Shoulders Sack and Crack". Old dude played along really well, and didn't hesitate once to grab his sack in front of 150 people. Posted by Hello

Two of the 4 piano guys.  Posted by Hello

Lauren and Emily. Look at that big 'ol smile on Lauren's face...this in spite of the fact that she had Ranch dressing spilled on her lap and purse. Apparently I did it by accident when moving stuff around the table, but honestly I don't remember. Although I had the piano player dedicate a song to her and her Ranch pants.  Posted by Hello

Kris and I rockin out to who knows what. We were drunk. Scratch that. He was drunk...I was reeeaaallly drunk.  Posted by Hello

All the ladies that had the balls (breasts?) to get up on stage and dance, did so to a surprisingly good piano version of Baby Got Back. WhaPshhh! Posted by Hello

Sunday, March 27, 2005

EASTER! Time for ridiculous greeting cards!

I thought that, since many of you wouldn't have the luxury of finding these old Easter greeting cards, I would reproduce them here for your viewing pleasure. This way they can be saved for all eternity....or until Blogspot decides to stop hosting my blog. Anyway, these are early era Easter greeting cards, that can only lead to just one quesiton...what the hell are they thinking?

Nothing quite says "A Happy Easter" to me like a good, old-fashioned cock-fight.
Ah, memories. Posted by Hello

That's right, ma'am, just drop your baby right here on my frying pan.
See? Wasn't that delivery over easy? I mean over quickly - quickly, I meant. Posted by Hello

What do you mean, "Where do little girls come from?"
They come out of giant eggs, of course. Fully clothed.
The Woolson Spice Company, denying knowledge of human reproduction since 1912
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Won't little Johnny Eager-ax get a surprise when that baby Tryannasaurus Rex bites his fool head off.
Oh, that Johnny!
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Another fun Easter tradition: Stealing babies!
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My favorite part on this one isn't the dress-wearing rabbit that walks like a man. Sure, that's creepy, but not half as much as the two shawl-wearing hens selling their young at the market.
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May all your Easters be happy, and may all your baby chicks be glowing an eerie green from exposure to nuclear radiation.
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I always enjoy a card with cute fluffy little animals who have all the life and color sucked completely out of them until they are nothing but, cold, gray, timid husks of the characters we expect.
Don't you?
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Hush, little bunny. It will only hurt for a moment.
Ahh, the fun of a terrified bunny with a broken spirit.
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Yes, kids. There is an Easter Bunny, and he's a slave of the time-clock just like you will be when you grow up. Freedom is an illusion.
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Ah, yes, the Frontier. Forged by nancy-boys in sissysuits, riding egg wagons pulled by bunnies.

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Sadly, Mr. Bunny knew it was back into the sack for him every day after playtime.
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So, are these tiny people, or are the birds freakishly huge?
Either way, it adds up to me not getting a pleasant night's sleep.
 Posted by Hello