Thanksgiving is fun, cuz I have a filthy mind

I plan on saying each one of these things on Thanksgiving day, because it's the only time where I can get away with it in public. Yay me.

If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst.
That's one terrific spread.
I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
Are you ready for seconds yet?
It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
I didn't expect everyone to come at once.
You still have a little bit on your chin.
How long will it take after you stick it in?
You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that.
That's the biggest one I've ever seen.