IBM can blow my ass
Dont ever buy anything from IBM. Their customer support sucks so much it will sap your will to live. So after almost a month of bullshitting around with the douchebag idiots at IBM (Do I sound bitter?), my computer is officially unfixable and now has to be sent back to IBM headquarters for a complete overhaul. The morons at customer support kept giving me the wrong shit and the wrong info, and time after time their suggestions did not work. Last night I called to have the guy walk me through every step of the recovery process with the correct cd's that I finally got in the mail after 3 weeks. I tried it myself, but the computer would never prompt me for the cd's, it would just do all this random shit on its own and then give me an error. I actually made the guy walk me through every step, at which point he'd say something like "Ok you're good to go, just wait for the prompt to put in the first recovery cd, then..." where I would immediately interrupt him. "No, fool. It doesn't ever prompt me, that's the problem!"..."Well, that's not possible sir, if you let me finish, it will always ask you.." "NO, IT DOESN'T YOU MINDLESS CUSTOMER SERVICE AUTOMATON. Now that I have your attention, I'm going to tell you blow by blow what it does."
And so I proceeded to make him stay on the line with me for 45 minutes, where every 7 or 8 minutes he would tell me he had to go and couldn't stay on the phone with me this long. This is the point where I threatened him that I would physically fly out to Altanta where he was and find him in his little cubby, pry his eyes open like a Clockwork Orange, and make him watch the computer NOT prompt me for any cd's. Eventually I got him to stay with me long enough to explain to him what was happening as it happened. "Oh, hmmm, that's weird" was his reaction. No fuckin shit, assmunch. At this point, he had me try 12 different things, all of which I had tried before, but nevertheless went though again just to prove to him he sucked. Eventually he said I needed to send the computer back to them for them to restore and fix in the factory, and wait up to four weeks for it. They claim it usually takes about that long, maybe longer, which suggests that their technical repairmen are living in Fiji, and have strapped the laptop to a migrating sea turtle and hope it's spotted as it passes by.
So after 27 days of hell, about 14 hours on hold, and no working, computer, I'm sending the laptop back to IBM for fixing. Hopefully I'll get it back by 2009, at which point I will finally post some more pictures on my blog, most likely of my withered and tattered body, degraded from the years of IBM stress and internet withdrawal. Until then, I'll be online only at work, where I can't even check my damn fantasy football league because the internet filter blocks it out. Fuckadoodledoo. Random thoughts of sympathy, empathy, or understanding would be appreciated.
On the bright side, I had a great weekend and met some very cool people. Went to an Asian film festival on Friday night, which was hosted by none other than Michael Chen of Channel 10 News! Michael Chen always seems very serious, with an "impending-doom" look on his face when he does his roving reports on the nightly news. Always in a suit, and always professional. Well not after hours! Michael Chen is gayer than a hatbox full of Speedos. And not as tall as I would've thought. They always look better on tv....Anyway, the films were good, and the drinks afterward even better. On Saturday, Jason (a guy I met while working on the porn set) invited me to a birthday party of his friend Troy, so I went and met a bunch of fun people and had another night of good times. Sunday was a very lazy day, and with the exception of meeting Emily and the gang at Bourbon St. to see Ashley Matte (ahhh, Ashley, you're so wonderful...) it was a pretty lazy day of football, grocery shopping, and naps. Overall a very good weekend. If only I had gotten some action.....
And so I proceeded to make him stay on the line with me for 45 minutes, where every 7 or 8 minutes he would tell me he had to go and couldn't stay on the phone with me this long. This is the point where I threatened him that I would physically fly out to Altanta where he was and find him in his little cubby, pry his eyes open like a Clockwork Orange, and make him watch the computer NOT prompt me for any cd's. Eventually I got him to stay with me long enough to explain to him what was happening as it happened. "Oh, hmmm, that's weird" was his reaction. No fuckin shit, assmunch. At this point, he had me try 12 different things, all of which I had tried before, but nevertheless went though again just to prove to him he sucked. Eventually he said I needed to send the computer back to them for them to restore and fix in the factory, and wait up to four weeks for it. They claim it usually takes about that long, maybe longer, which suggests that their technical repairmen are living in Fiji, and have strapped the laptop to a migrating sea turtle and hope it's spotted as it passes by.
So after 27 days of hell, about 14 hours on hold, and no working, computer, I'm sending the laptop back to IBM for fixing. Hopefully I'll get it back by 2009, at which point I will finally post some more pictures on my blog, most likely of my withered and tattered body, degraded from the years of IBM stress and internet withdrawal. Until then, I'll be online only at work, where I can't even check my damn fantasy football league because the internet filter blocks it out. Fuckadoodledoo. Random thoughts of sympathy, empathy, or understanding would be appreciated.
On the bright side, I had a great weekend and met some very cool people. Went to an Asian film festival on Friday night, which was hosted by none other than Michael Chen of Channel 10 News! Michael Chen always seems very serious, with an "impending-doom" look on his face when he does his roving reports on the nightly news. Always in a suit, and always professional. Well not after hours! Michael Chen is gayer than a hatbox full of Speedos. And not as tall as I would've thought. They always look better on tv....Anyway, the films were good, and the drinks afterward even better. On Saturday, Jason (a guy I met while working on the porn set) invited me to a birthday party of his friend Troy, so I went and met a bunch of fun people and had another night of good times. Sunday was a very lazy day, and with the exception of meeting Emily and the gang at Bourbon St. to see Ashley Matte (ahhh, Ashley, you're so wonderful...) it was a pretty lazy day of football, grocery shopping, and naps. Overall a very good weekend. If only I had gotten some action.....
posted by Adam J at 7:16 PM
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