Is the Navy for me?

This being San Diego, I thought it might be interesting to take a day to simulate what it would be like to be in the Navy, if in fact I had any desire to live such a life. I mean, everyone I know that's in the Navy does practically nothing, drinks a lot, has large housing stipends and nice cars. So I decided to put it to the test.

Question: Is Navy life for me?

I cut a twin mattress in half and enclose three sides of my bed. I added a roof that prevents me from sitting up (about 10 inches is a good distance for anyone else who wants to try this) then placed it on a platform that is four feet off the floor. I then placed a small dead animal under the bed to simulate the smell of someone else's socks.
I've also ensured that the water heater is connected to a device that provides water at a flow rate that varies from a fast drip to a weak trickle, with the temperature alternating rapidly from -2 to 95 deg C. Then on occasion I smash my forehead or shins with a hammer every two days to simulate collision injuries sustained onboard Navy ships.

Answer: NO