Lesson #6: My neighbor becomes a bigger schmuck every year

Prominently displayed on our computer desk is the number for our town police, who apparently my mother calls frequently enough on our neighbor to warrant a quick reference sheet. He's always been crazy, putting an enormous flagpole, billboards, ship anchors, and spotlights in his front yard on display for no apparent reason other than to piss off my mother. I'm pretty sure he's single handedly responsible for the decline in real estate value by at least 20%. Anyway, recently he's decided that he needed a helicopter caliber searchlight in his front yard, which he pointed directly into our windows. He's also never been fond of the fact that we have a dog, who he thinks shits in his yard. It's not our dog, but nevertheless he's gone and purchased himself a pitbull who he leaves tied up outside just so my mother can't walk our dog out in the front (because my dog goes nutty at the sight of another dog and immediately tries to run over there to do doggy-type growling, sniffing etc.) except you can never tell what a pitbull will do so there's no sense in taking chances...did you know that many homeowners insurances won't cover you if you have a pitbull? Probably has something to do with their history of being selectively bred specifically to create the ultimate canine gladiator. Lovely. Thanks neighbor! So glad I get to go back home to white trash land now.