Ever watch Martha Stewart?

Martha Stewart's show was on in the waiting room of the clinic I was working at today...I know, that's a lame justification for watching Martha Stewart, but this time it's true. Rachel Ray is a different story. But I digress. Here are some nice recipe tricks that Martha came up with, followed by a slightly different version if you're not Marth Stewart...

Martha's way #1:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to
prevent ice cream drips.

My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the
cone, for Christ sake, you are probably lying on the couch with
your feet up eating it anyway.

Martha's way #2:
Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot
griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.

My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave
for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic
bag.

Martha's way #3:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the
potatoes.

My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in
the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's way #4:
To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the
water before hard boiling.

My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take
the shells off anyway?

Martha's way #5:
To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room
temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen
counter before squeezing.

My way: Sleep with the lemons in between the mattress and
box springs.

Martha's way #6:
To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a
drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan,
and bring to a boil on stovetop.

My way: Eat at Fudruckers every night and avoid cooking.

Martha's way #7:
Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring
in tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains.

My way: Feed your garbage disposal and there won't be any
leftovers.

Martha's way #8:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit
of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on
the outside of the cake.

My way: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's way #9:
If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking,
drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an
instant "fix me up"

My way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking,
that's too damn bad. I made it and you will eat it and
I don't care how bad it tastes.

Martha's way #10:
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and
it will keep for weeks.

My way: Celery? Never heard of it.

Martha's way #11:
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield
a beautiful glossy finish.

My way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not
include brushing egg whites over the crust and so I don't.

Martha's way #12:
Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it.

My Way: Brown sugar is supposed to be "soft"?

Martha's way #13:
When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring
out the corn's natural sweetness.

My Way: The only kind of corn I buy comes in a can.

Martha's way #14:
To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of
cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh, but if it rises to
the surface, throw it away.

My way: Eat, cook, or use the egg anyway. If you feel bad
later, you will know it wasn't fresh.

Martha's way #15:
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

My way: Martha, dear, the only reason this works is
because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting
lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the
headache anymore, it is because you are now blind.

Martha's way #16:
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for
future use in casseroles and sauces.

My way: Leftover wine?

Martha's way #17:
If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing
gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

My way: Go ask the cute neighbor to do it.

Martha's way #18:
Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and
rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.

My way: Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the anti-
bacterial soap in the handy dispenser next to my sink.

Martha's way #19:
Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer.
* Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets,wait twenty
minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action
clean vitreous china.
* Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase
or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.
* Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of
water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.
* Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in
four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer,
if necessary).

My way: Put your jewelry, vases, and thermos in the
toilet. Add some Alka-Seltzer and you have solved a whole bunch
of problems at once.