You too could kick my ass
All you have to do to become one of the lucky people to get me in a carotid restraint hold is join me for my semi-weekly Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class! Although it's basically what I expected, I didn't think I'd be this sore after 2 classes. But being suplexed 6 times in a row does tend to have a mild effect on one's shoulder. I've been doing what I would consider a pretty rigorous gym routine for the last 4 months, but the so-called "warm-up" in this class has me so exhausted by the end that I barely have energy for the training. I can't really feel my abs at this point...it's more of an ab-shaped circle of excruciating pain in the stomach region. But I feel this will get me in much better conditioning than I'm in right now, so that's good. On the bright side, it's fun and I've learned a few good lessons so far:
1) Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is a ground-fighting martial art. It specializes in submission grappling when both fighters are on the ground, and involves positional control and submissions such as chokes and arm locks. It's practiced as a martial art where you practice escaping out of any hold, and using little strength to subdue a much larger opponent. This is what I need, because the next smallest guy in class has about 30lbs on me. The Taekwondo I took when I was younger was useless, this is far more realistic.
2) Knowing Jiu-Jitsu can actually reduce your injuries- This was surprising to me, since I'm constantly in fear of dying in class. I'm kidding of course. Well, sort of. But as I thought about it, it's understandable in the sense that you'll be much more limber, in addition to being much more capable of avoiding situations that would result in an injury....there's lots of moving around and constant shifting of positions to avoid being put in a position you very much don't want to be in. Hence, it's safer. Yay.
3) Don't mess with a brown belt- It may not be black, but he'll definitely rip you a new one. I wasn't familiar with the belt orderings in this martial art, so luckily I got to learn this one second hand by watching him manhandle some poor guy who's only been there for about 6 months. (FYI- It's White-Blue-Purple-Brown-Black)
4) Head locks are entirely overrated- There are dozens of ways to get out of a traditional head lock, and only a couple that even have a chance of holding someone who knows what they're doing...the average douchebag that puts you in one probably has no idea what he's doing, so escaping is actually pretty easy. Good to know for my next bar fight.
5) My instructor is ridiculous- I guess that's why he owns the place. His name is Odie, and he's a good teacher, and will monitor while you practice, give helpful hints, etc. He's completely amazing in action, and doesn't even break a sweat when he fights willing students (students with much bigger balls than mine). He'll ask a student what percentage they want him to fight at (30% effort, 50% effort, etc) so they can practice with him and still get valuable lesson without getting hurt...but when this crazy blue belt named Kali in Tuesday night's class asked for 95%, the result was a 7 second match and Kali turning blue. Onlookers were cheering for Kali not to give up, saying things like "Don't tap out buddy, we'll wake you up in a minute!". I thought that was funny. I don't think Kali did, he gave up before the stopwatch hit double digits. Odie also will teach you the difference between what you would do in competition and what you would do on the street to put someone in the hospital. He'll say things like "When you're in a match, this is where you would stop, and when you're not in a match, this is where you would break his jaw." Thanks man. Always with the helpful hints. He reminds me of the bad guy sensei from Karate Kid, only much nicer and would never let you get hurt in class. It's a controlled choas, I suppose.
6) Jiu-Jitsu is full of irony- Why, you ask? Because the term means "gentle art". Haha that's funny. Gentle my ass. No, really, please be gentle on my ass. I have a desk job.
7) I shouldn't have posted this cuz my family is going to freak out. Haha I can't wait for the comments. Remember lesson #2!
1) Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is a ground-fighting martial art. It specializes in submission grappling when both fighters are on the ground, and involves positional control and submissions such as chokes and arm locks. It's practiced as a martial art where you practice escaping out of any hold, and using little strength to subdue a much larger opponent. This is what I need, because the next smallest guy in class has about 30lbs on me. The Taekwondo I took when I was younger was useless, this is far more realistic.
2) Knowing Jiu-Jitsu can actually reduce your injuries- This was surprising to me, since I'm constantly in fear of dying in class. I'm kidding of course. Well, sort of. But as I thought about it, it's understandable in the sense that you'll be much more limber, in addition to being much more capable of avoiding situations that would result in an injury....there's lots of moving around and constant shifting of positions to avoid being put in a position you very much don't want to be in. Hence, it's safer. Yay.
3) Don't mess with a brown belt- It may not be black, but he'll definitely rip you a new one. I wasn't familiar with the belt orderings in this martial art, so luckily I got to learn this one second hand by watching him manhandle some poor guy who's only been there for about 6 months. (FYI- It's White-Blue-Purple-Brown-Black)
4) Head locks are entirely overrated- There are dozens of ways to get out of a traditional head lock, and only a couple that even have a chance of holding someone who knows what they're doing...the average douchebag that puts you in one probably has no idea what he's doing, so escaping is actually pretty easy. Good to know for my next bar fight.
5) My instructor is ridiculous- I guess that's why he owns the place. His name is Odie, and he's a good teacher, and will monitor while you practice, give helpful hints, etc. He's completely amazing in action, and doesn't even break a sweat when he fights willing students (students with much bigger balls than mine). He'll ask a student what percentage they want him to fight at (30% effort, 50% effort, etc) so they can practice with him and still get valuable lesson without getting hurt...but when this crazy blue belt named Kali in Tuesday night's class asked for 95%, the result was a 7 second match and Kali turning blue. Onlookers were cheering for Kali not to give up, saying things like "Don't tap out buddy, we'll wake you up in a minute!". I thought that was funny. I don't think Kali did, he gave up before the stopwatch hit double digits. Odie also will teach you the difference between what you would do in competition and what you would do on the street to put someone in the hospital. He'll say things like "When you're in a match, this is where you would stop, and when you're not in a match, this is where you would break his jaw." Thanks man. Always with the helpful hints. He reminds me of the bad guy sensei from Karate Kid, only much nicer and would never let you get hurt in class. It's a controlled choas, I suppose.
6) Jiu-Jitsu is full of irony- Why, you ask? Because the term means "gentle art". Haha that's funny. Gentle my ass. No, really, please be gentle on my ass. I have a desk job.
7) I shouldn't have posted this cuz my family is going to freak out. Haha I can't wait for the comments. Remember lesson #2!
posted by Adam J at 2:09 PM
1 Comments:
Don't worry. Mom can't figure out how to look at your blog even though It's been on the 'favorites' list since you left.
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