Telemarketers need a better intro

Our apartment has a land line, which has yet to be put on the Do-Not Call registry. Needless to say we get enough calls to warrant never answering the house line. It's only there for the DSL and buzzing people into our gate at this point. But here's what chaps my ass....Telemarketers suck. I also just realized that I capitalized "telemarketers" just now, a la God or Porn, and the phone fuckers are certainly in neither echelon. But alas, I am too lazy to go back and change it. Anyway, here's my main problem with telemarketers...no one wants to talk to them as soon as they know it's them. Yet they continue to pronounce your name as slowly and inaccurately as possible, almost immediately divulging their true identity. The key, in my mind, is to get someones attention before they have a chance to hang up. So I developed a fail-safe technique, so listen up all you current and future telemarketers (a.k.a. Cornell English and Philosophy majors). When the phone rings and the person picks up, say in a barely audible whisper: "Have you checked the children?....Now I know what you're thinking....I'm a genius. Yes, thank you. Then you can immediately follow up with, "Oh, the children are fine? Well, have you heard of our exciting new lifetime warranty aluminum siding?" Guaranteed sale. Try it and let me know how it works for you. I'm predicting a 3 fold sales increase.