You too can save the children

Ever see those commercials at 3am to "save the children" for $9 a week? I did last night. Damn it sucks, cuz let's face it, we could all help other people more than we actually do. Everybody's got the $9. So how do you not give it to 'em? You gotta rationalize it somehow, you go "Hmmm, well....I dunno...the kid doesn't look that hungry to me....Shit he's got a bigger belly than I do...how can you feed a kid for $9 a week, that's impossible! A non-fat low-carb latte is $4.50. What's that kid gonna do with 2 giant cups of coffee? I'm actually doin him a favor not giving him any money, cuz there's nothing worse than being wide awake and starving."
You're welcome, Mobubu.