¡Vayamos a México!
So we decided the other day to go to Puerto Nuevo, Mexico for cheap Lobster (langosta) and diarrhea (megashitos)....well, at least one of those to be sure. Puerto Nuevo is about a half hour south of Tijuana, on the shore of Mexico. We figured it was best to drive to the border, park on the US side, then walk over to Tijuana (or "TJ" as the cool kids call it) and take a cab to our destination. So that's what we did. Along the way we passed about 756 Mexican pharmacies, all soliciting their business to us, advertising the "best Human Growth Hormone on the market". Dios Mio! My prayers have been answered!
Anyway, after getting huge, we grabbed a Taxi Libre....the Taxi of choice for those in the know. Apparently you DONT want to hail a Yellow Cab, as they will rape you (violación) for all the money to your name. So we got one, headed down the highway towards Puerto Nuevo, and were pretty quickly pulled over by a Mexican policeman (policía assholia) . Shit.
Turns out he was more honest than we thought, and didn't want to take all of our money and shoes (zapatos). He thought we were all drinking in the car, so when he found out we were just lame asses looking for cheap Lobster (langosta), he promptly let us on our way. We drove south through Rosarito, a popular spring break location for SoCal alcoholics, then past the Fox Baja movie studios, where, I'm sure most of you didn't know, many huge movies were filmed, including Deep Blue Sea, In Dreams, Weight of Water, Kung Pow—Enter the Fist, Tomorrow Never Dies, Jackass the Movie, Pearl Harbor, Master and Commander, and most surprisingly, Titanic. Yup, you heard right. When Jack and Rose are standing on the ships bow, looking at the aftermath of a beautiful "North Atlantic" sunset, it's actually Rosarito, Mexico, just south of T.J. Now you know (¡Ahora usted sabe!)
Anyway, back to my long ass story. When we got to Puerto Nuevo, there really wasn't much to see...a couple small restaurants that looked iffy at best, and we werent really sure what part of the town we were supposed to go to. So stupidly, we kept driving past a nice looking resport called Hotel Calafia, and decided to have the cab driver drop us off a mile down the road somewhere along a couple sketchy restaurants that we were pretty sure we didn't want to eat at...at least not without getting the Megashitos. It was only after the driver (el conductor)drove away that we realized that yup, definitely not where we wanted to be. Yet in the distance, teasing us with its beauty and undoubtedly good food, taunting us for not stopping there in the first place, was the Calafia. So began our trek alongside the Mexican highway to get back to what we had just passed a few minutes before (somos estúpidos). Although the hike was fun, we didnt have much sidewalk, and it turns out what I thought was the shoulder was actually the right lane of the highway. That's a big oops.
After almost dying, we finally made it to the Calafia, which was certainly a site for sore Americans. Amazing view, great weather, great food, and a mariachi band playing in the distance. It wasn't cheap by any means, which kind of defeated the whole purpose of our journey south of the border, but oh well, it was tons of fun anyway. Emily made some friends (unfortunately they were cats), Sara laughed the whole way, Brandon almost killed us for taking so many pictures, and I just enjoyed my first trip to Mexicoland....isn't that what it's called?
Anyway, after getting huge, we grabbed a Taxi Libre....the Taxi of choice for those in the know. Apparently you DONT want to hail a Yellow Cab, as they will rape you (violación) for all the money to your name. So we got one, headed down the highway towards Puerto Nuevo, and were pretty quickly pulled over by a Mexican policeman (policía assholia) . Shit.
Turns out he was more honest than we thought, and didn't want to take all of our money and shoes (zapatos). He thought we were all drinking in the car, so when he found out we were just lame asses looking for cheap Lobster (langosta), he promptly let us on our way. We drove south through Rosarito, a popular spring break location for SoCal alcoholics, then past the Fox Baja movie studios, where, I'm sure most of you didn't know, many huge movies were filmed, including Deep Blue Sea, In Dreams, Weight of Water, Kung Pow—Enter the Fist, Tomorrow Never Dies, Jackass the Movie, Pearl Harbor, Master and Commander, and most surprisingly, Titanic. Yup, you heard right. When Jack and Rose are standing on the ships bow, looking at the aftermath of a beautiful "North Atlantic" sunset, it's actually Rosarito, Mexico, just south of T.J. Now you know (¡Ahora usted sabe!)
Anyway, back to my long ass story. When we got to Puerto Nuevo, there really wasn't much to see...a couple small restaurants that looked iffy at best, and we werent really sure what part of the town we were supposed to go to. So stupidly, we kept driving past a nice looking resport called Hotel Calafia, and decided to have the cab driver drop us off a mile down the road somewhere along a couple sketchy restaurants that we were pretty sure we didn't want to eat at...at least not without getting the Megashitos. It was only after the driver (el conductor)drove away that we realized that yup, definitely not where we wanted to be. Yet in the distance, teasing us with its beauty and undoubtedly good food, taunting us for not stopping there in the first place, was the Calafia. So began our trek alongside the Mexican highway to get back to what we had just passed a few minutes before (somos estúpidos). Although the hike was fun, we didnt have much sidewalk, and it turns out what I thought was the shoulder was actually the right lane of the highway. That's a big oops.
After almost dying, we finally made it to the Calafia, which was certainly a site for sore Americans. Amazing view, great weather, great food, and a mariachi band playing in the distance. It wasn't cheap by any means, which kind of defeated the whole purpose of our journey south of the border, but oh well, it was tons of fun anyway. Emily made some friends (unfortunately they were cats), Sara laughed the whole way, Brandon almost killed us for taking so many pictures, and I just enjoyed my first trip to Mexicoland....isn't that what it's called?
posted by Adam J at 9:00 PM
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